Dear Chris ,
As we talked on the phone today, I scrolled through social media and came across a quote that stopped me. I read it out loud to you :
How can happiness be simple? Aren’t our lives filled with obstacles to overcome and packed full of ( often difficult ) challenges to help make us into better , happier people ? I’ve spent years questing for that ultimate happiness and it has been anything but a simple journey. And isn’t simple boring ? Don’t we want to live over the top extraordinary lives ?
Through out the rest of the day , I thought about that quote and our lives.
Love has been a painful path for me you see. Love has been manipulative, driven me down to the point that I lost my self worth and at times, gotten me to abandon my beliefs and values. I have been beaten down both mentally and physically. And I allowed all of it.
And then you came along and I thought it would be love.
But it wasn’t.
In fact it was the opposite.
You showed me respect, understanding, a partnership , a future. But not love.
You see, I had it all wrong. What I defined as love was not love. And what you have shown me doesn’t have a word in my vocabulary. It’s new to me. And it’s extraordinary.
There are moments that I wonder if you will some day turn to me and tell me that I’m one complex human being ; that you could have someone else who doesn’t talk your ear off or have a million thoughts a day. But you never do. Instead you embrace every new idea , encourage me to reach any goal and mirror back to me the person I can be. You have taught me gratitude and what it means to look at life and all its daily gifts and opportunities.
Being happy is simple with you. There are no complications( as much as I sometimes try to make them) You are the calm to my soul.
You are far to humble to know the impact you have on my life. And one day when you come across this letter, I’m sure you will humbly say thank you and remind me that it’s no accident we are together.