Hi friends ! It’s me again. Sorry I’ve been so absent on here, it’s been a crazy three months! More to come on that in another post. Right now I’d like to talk to you about hilarious parent fails. About a month ago, I was trying to get Leah to sleep, I accidentally melted 80% of our bottles ( we are formula feeding now ). In the TWO HOURS I spent upstairs trying to rock our angel to sleep , the water in the pot evaporated and I ended up with mangled bottles. When I told a few of my closest friends the story , they immediately started telling me their #momfail moments. I felt way better and had a pretty good laugh. I am sure all parents have these stories but I think we don’t always share them for fear of parent shaming or social services showing up at our door LOL. I figure to hell with the shaming. We all need a good laugh and to know these things happen and most importantly that we are all in together.
Here’s a collection of #parentfail stories that I’ve collected from others. Enjoy.
~ I put my little guy in the play pen and went upstairs for no more than 3-4 minutes. When I got downstairs, there was a weird smell. I got into the living room and my son had whipped off his diaper and was flinging it around lasso style. There was shit EVERYWHERE. On the walls, the ceiling and in the bookcase
~ I once started the kitchen on fire and had no idea. I was heating up a gel pad in a pot, went upstairs and forgot about it. I was asleep when my husband got home to a kitchen full of smoke. Oops
~ I dropped an entire bottle of breast milk (that stuff is gold). The bottle fell all over my baby and caused her first boo boo
~ When I was 9 months pregnant, I let my 3-year-old get a sunburn ( fail one ). I thought I would rub aloe vera on him to help alleviate the pain. I couldn’t figure out why it was so darn sticky until I realized afterward that I had rubbed hair gel all over him instead.
~My two year old thought his name was fuck. So if people in public asked ” what’s your name ?”, I would shout it out before he could say anything
~ I once put the breast pump in the fridge and couldn’t find it later. Then I found something in the cupboard that was supposed to be in the fridge.
~ I accidentally left all of my kids in the car and forgot about them ( there’s more than one of them )
~ My parents had my son for the weekend. Before they left my dad put it back in our truck. Next day I was driving and took a corner. My son starts yelling and I look back and there he is tipped over in his car seat because I didn’t look to see if it got strapped back in. He was holding on for dear life to a granola bar!!! All I could do was laugh. I quickly pulled over to fix his seat. He was sooooo mad
~My daughter was only a week or two old and we couldn’t wake her and she was rapid breathing so we called the ambulance Apparently all normal. Being a first timer is scary as F if u don’t know what to expect!!!
~First time my daughter had Cheerios, I was doing dishes and hadn’t cleaned up my son’s breakfast mess, she crawled under the table and ate his leftovers
~ I’ve forgotten to take wipes with me before. Epic fail and it will never happen again, napkins just don’t work the same
~My son was but a month or so old. I went to change his diaper as I usually do and I like to entertain him with songs or stories while I clean him up. So I start talking and working and I notice he is smiling! I was so enamored I couldn’t help but smile back! I totally forgot I took his diaper partially off and … he peed in my smiling mouth.
~While nursing my daughter in the airport waiting to pick up my sister who was coming to visit . My son (at 2 years old) ran down the luggage belt, through the rubber flaps that take you outside!! Me running with my boob out in the airport likely drowning my daughter with milk trying to grab my son and coax him out of the area that says “caution stay out”. Finally after what felt like forever he came close enough that I could grab him. All the while my boob is out and my daughter damn near upside down in my arms 🙄 please note by the end I had a small crown of spectators whom never ever offered to assist.
~I put my daughters soother clip into the microwave to be sanitized with over $50 worth of soothers/teething rings and everything started on fire because the soother clip was metal… Mom brain fail!!
~I had my daughter via c section, so I had never put her car seat in the car or driven anywhere with her until 6 weeks had passed. Our first outing together was to chiro. When I got there, I pulled on the car seat and realized it hadn’t been ‘snapped’ into the base. Wiped the sweat off my brow and made sure to click it in and yank on it on the way home. I got home and a neighbour came across the street to say congrats and introduce herself. I was in the middle of trying to get the car seat out of the base and it was stuck!! I felt like such an idiot that I just kept small talking her (not even introducing myself) and trying to nonchalantly get the FRICKIN CAR SEAT OUT OF THE DAMN CAR. I couldn’t get it. I was so embarrassed and trying to play it cool. She asked if I needed help and I SAID NO. Then she waited awkwardly (probably wanting to see the baby I couldn’t get out of the car) while I was screaming inside ‘GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!! Can’t you see I’m having a moment???’. Finally she left and I ended up taking Mak out of the car seat because I couldn’t get it disconnected from the base. I never caught my neighbour name and she has never said hi to me again. I ALWAYS park in the garage now