Is anyone else sick of hearing all of the negative comments surrounding 2016? Last year was a great year for me! I got married, discovered I am pregnant and made some great memories throughout the year. Sure, there were some heartbreaking moments and situations that were challenging, but I don’t think I would ever want to label an entire year as a write-off.
All of the negative talk got me thinking about regrets and in an attempt to focus on the positive, I thought about all of the experiences that I will never regret.
1. My Twenties
I wouldn’t say my twenties were out of control, but there are some memories that make me want to hide of embarrassment. There were many nights spent bar hopping, the time in Mexico when I left my friend at random bar ( I can’t believe it didn’t even cross my mind how unsafe this was!) and all the hours spent chasing the wrong guys.
I cringe when Timehop reminds me of the social media posts I’ve made over the years; encrypted statuses, rants about pointless topics and sporadic cries for attention. *Sigh, head shake*.
As mortifying as my twenties were, I am so very grateful for them. Those years helped me build the framework of who I am today.
2. Past Relationships
I had both good and bad ( and really bad) relationships before Chris. I stayed in relationships longer than I should have and fought for love that never existed. But each of these relationships taught me something about myself. There is a great quote in The Perks of Being a Wallflower that says” We accept the love we think we deserve”. All of my relationships have been in are a perfect example of this quote. I stayed because I thought I couldn’t leave and I came to define “love” as something it wasn’t. But, as they say, everything happens for a reason. And without all of these experiences, there is a very good chance I wouldn’t have ended up with Chris.
3. Leaving a good paying job in the interest of happiness
A friend once told me that I could never be happy at a job that paid less than x amount. At the time, I was working at a well-paying job that I dreaded waking up for. The highly toxic environment left me drained and my frustrations eventually began to trickle home with me. I left that job for a lower paying, less stressful job and I have never looked back. As it turns out, you can be
happy significantly happier with a smaller pay cheque. Money does not = happiness.
4. Having a nose job
In 2008, I took my savings and paid someone to take a hammer to my face. I had quite a significant bump on my nose that I never felt comfortable with. I used to look in the mirror at my profile and place tweezers over the bump, imagining what it could look like. It took months for my nose to set and for the black eyes to disappear. And even then, didn’t walk away with a perfect looking nose. Even though it may not be perfect, I feel far more confident sans bump.
5. Moving in with Chris after 4 months
Chris and I like to joke about how I casually started to move things into his closet after a month of dating. There would be days he would text me asking where his shirts were and how I could possibly own so many pairs of jeans. In hindsight, our relationship may have moved a little fast but the progression was natural and easy for us. Our household ‘ roles’ seamlessly complemented each other and to this day, our only really challenge is the dishwasher battle ha ha!
6. Asking for help when I needed it
My first experience with any kind of counselor was in junior high around the time I had started to ask questions of how my biological mother had passed away. In my late teens, my Dr. placed me on anti-depressants as a solution for mental fatigue. I started councilling after I felt the pills were inhibiting my ability to address the cause of my symptoms. And then just a few years ago, I found myself in a psychologist’s office working through new fears and emotions.
I think a common roadblock to councilling is the daunting task of explaining to a complete strange the entire back story of how you got to where you are. Instead, we turn to those who are familiar with our daily lives, our friends and/or family members. While there is nothing wrong with using our inner circle as a sounding board, these people are usually biased to take our sides and can be apprehensive to share their true opinions. A counselor can offer the unique outside perspective and get us to see things from another point of view. The most beneficial moments I’ve had with a counselor are the times I’ve been able to say ” I never thought of it that way”.
7. Standing up for myself
I don’t stand up for myself near as often as I should. I often back for fear of ticking people off or being judged. That said, there have been a few occasions have had to have those difficult conversations and had to deal with the awkward aftermath.
I am realizing ( and I’ve heard) that when I become a mom, I am going to have to have the courage to stand up for myself and our daughter. The responsibility of a child’s life isn’t something to be taken lightly and I know that I am going to have to wade through moments of judgments, disapproving looks, and questioning of my parenting style.
8. Writing this blog
I have had this small little space on the internet for over 5 years. I’m not even sure how many people read these posts but it like having a place that I can share my thoughts and updates. I kind of love that I have no idea what I’m doing. I am passed the point of stressing about not posting often enough or figuring how to increase views. I have no regrets about sharing the content I did years ago ( not that I think that any of it was particularly eyebrow raising)
Do you have any moments of regrets ? How about things that you will never regret doing?